Dont go
by orangeangel
Summary: After the emergency blow Gibbs relises that he is inlove with Kate. But there is something wrong with her and its not because she is quitting KIBBS
1. Chapter 1

**Dont go**

_A/N: Hey guys, well the impossible has finally happened. I have posted my first fic here. About time i reckon. Anyway its a KIBBS fic, really cool, enjoy it, and let me know what you think. Thank you_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

As I wrap my arms around her I realize that I have already made the biggest mistake of my life. Sure it was only an emergency blow, but I know that I have already fallen in love with this most amazing woman who is in my life. I have never really been a religious man, but I do thank god everyday that she is in my life and I treasure every moment that I get to spend with her away from the other members of the team.

My sister's husband (the mysterious red head) had just passed away and I went and attended the funeral and kept a close eye on my sister. Anyway as I walked through the bullpen in my usual don't mess with me or I'll reprimand you from here till doomsday look, I catch sight of a plain crisp white envelope sitting on my desk. When I make my way around to my desk, I can hear Tony and McGee fighting in the background but no Kate yet…..and as I think that my mind goes into a million different thoughts none of them which are interesting or productive.

When she finally turns up, she looks different somehow not different as in clothes or anything. But something just looks off like she's not herself like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and that she will break suddenly without warning. That pulls at my heart strings more than they should, but since that emergency blow happen I lost all objectives when it comes to her. And no matter how hard I try, I have to keep on hiding it from everyone especially Abby and Ducky and her. Those are the only three people on my team that can read me like a book and that feels really strange sometimes but it is something that I have to deal with. On the other hand Dinozzo and McGee can't read me like a book, those two are the two sons that I have never had nor will never want when I do eventually had children of my own. Mainly because Dinozzo is an ass and every parents of daughters nightmares, and well McGee he is about as green as an agent can be and believe me that is a bad thing.

Since Kate has finally turned up, I am able to get my attention back on to the crisp, clean white envelope sitting on my desk. It has my name scribbled on it, in Kate's hand writing. So that makes me curious as to why I have this envelope on my desk and why she hasn't spoken a word since she came into the bullpen. She hasn't even said hello to anyone. Something tells me that something is very wrong with her and I'm just dying to find out what it is. But I can't walk up to her and ask her what is wrong, nope because that would mean that she would read me like a book and find out my true feelings for her. And that just can't happen, because of rule 12 and I'm her much older boss. "Jethro, enough day dreaming" I mutter to myself and as I do so I noticed that the whole team is looking at me like I have completely lost the plot. Well most of the team, Tony and Tim are looking at me. Kate isn't, she's just sitting there working quietly and slowly looking like she is going to break down at any moment. And that really pulls on my heart and I really do feel for her. I ignore Tony and Tim while I get back at the envelope and start to open it. Inside is a letter and in the letter is Kate's resignation, the wind in my body feels like it has just been knocked out of me. Kate's quitting, shes leaving, the words just keep on going around and around inside my head. In two short weeks, she is going to be out of my life forever. "I need coffee" I mumble quietly but rather quickly as I hurray out of the bullpen and to my one refugee the little corner coffee shop up the road.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Okay so do you love it? Hate it? what? give me your honest opinion, by reviewing._

_Oh and its to be continued_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I aint too happy with it. So if you have any helpful suggestions they would be more than welcome. Also thank you to my best bud Squeaky for reading over this chapter before I posted it. Also thank you to all the amazing reviews I have recieved. **

**It might take me a little while longer to update the next chapter, as well things have gotten a bit bad for me. And so I won't have as much time to concentrate on the story. I'm sorry guys.**

**Disclaimer: still dont own it, never will. I only own my laptop and a few other things**

Chapter two

Gibbs POV

Once I arrive to the little corner coffee shop my one true refugee, I still can't get over the fact that Kate is quitting. While I order my coffee and pay for it, I try to compose myself back into the normal bastard, hardass, that I usually am. While trying to get over the fact that in a few short weeks Kate is going to be gone forever, which is going to be far from easy. As I slowly made my way back to the office, I am in a complete daze and I barely notice anything. "this isn't happening, this can't be….Kate can't be leaving NCIS or the team or me" I repeat that over and over in my head.

As soon as I'm back at the office, I head straight to the mourge, I need to talk to Ducky he will know what to do. Either that or he will kick my six and tell me that there's nothing I can do or tell me what is really wrong with Kate. "Jethro, I don't have any bodies for you to talk about. So you must be here on the subject of our dear Caitlin who has handed in her noticed and who has been looking like she has been carrying around the weight of the world, right?"

"Duck, what is a matter with her? I know that she looks like she is carrying around the weight of the world. Has something happened while I was away?" asked a concerned and very worried Gibbs.

"Jethro it isn't my place to say, and I don't know what has happened to our dear Caitlin. All I know is that she's withdrawing herself from the team professional and personally. And that she has a very sharp and short temper with young Anthony and Timothy……..(sigh) Jethro what ever is a matter with Catlin that has forced her to hand in her notice, it must be pretty big and bad. If you want to know you are going to have to find out for yourself . But in saying that, I remember oh about 20 years ago.."

"DUCKY!" interrupted Gibbs, he hated his stories sometimes especially when all he wanted was some advice and to know what is wrong with one of his agents, especially when this agent is Kate.

"I'm sorry Jethro, but on this occasion I can't be any help because I don't know what is wrong with her. But if I had to take a guess I would suspect that she has depression. But remember that is only a guess"

"Thanks Duck" I yelled as I walked out the door back to the bullpen.

Depression! What the hell is something soo mickey mouse as depression doing to my favorites agents. I try not to play favorites but its really hard especially when it is Kate

But what if it isn't depression, okay I am going to drive myself completely crazy thinking of what could be wrong with Kate. And that defiantly isn't something that I need at the moment, because I will be totally less objective and I don't need that at the moment.

When I get back to my desk, I noticed that Kate still looks like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Tony is being well his usual self by playing the games on his computer. Which he thinks I think that he got rid of them, but I truly know that they are still on his computer. So just for the hell of it, I hit him on the back of the head while saying "Dinozzo get back to work before I give you a pink slip". Oh its soo much fun being mean to him, that I just can't help.

_A/N: Once again, hit the review button and let me know what you think of this story._

_Hate it, love it, I won't be offended if you hate it. Just give me your opinion, and any suggestions on where you think I should go with this story._

_Thanks_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Hey guys, sorry for the delay but life got in the way as it does. Anyway this chapter was really hard for me to write, but I hope you like it and enjoy it. Also thank you to all the reviews which I have recived for this fic, you guys are awesome. Also thank you to my friend Jess who beta this story. Sorry Mac, but I couldn't wait any longer.**

**Anyway enjoy**

**Gibbs POV**

As soon as I get back to my desk, I'm suddenly hit with a brain wave to find out what is wrong with Kate. I start researching all the websites that I can find on depression and other mental illnesses. While I start researching I keep an extra eye on Kate who is still looking like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. It's really starting to pull at my heart strings and that is really not a good thing. Especially when there's work to be done and mine isn't getting done. Just as I'm thinking this I noticed that there is someone in front of my desk. Looking I notice that it is the extremely green Agent McGee, internally rolling my eyes I glare at him.

"Are you just going to stand there waiting for me to notice you Agent McGee?" I growl. I'm not in the best of moods and he is just standing there takes the icing on the cake.

"Umm…No Boss, I just wanted to hand you my report that's all"

"Well then place it on my desk and get back to work Agent McGee" I growl once again. One of these days I'm goning to shoot him for being soo green and deal with the consequences later. Unless of course I put him through boot camp, my style. A small smirk appears at my face at the thought of that. Oh the things I have to deal and put up with. And now with that last thought, I carry on looking up websites on depression and other mental illnesses.

Once I had found out enough information about depression, which didn't take me that long considering there's a lot of people out there with it. And there are several different forms which is mind boggling of all things. I know that Ducky would understand more about it than me, considering I always thought it was something that was to do with the head and that you just got over. But apparently it isn't and since that something is wrong with Kate. I guess I'm just going to have to get over my personal opinion for once in my life. Especially since I truly believe that I am meant to be with Kate.

"Kate I need to have a word with you" I say as I start to walk out of the bull pen I know Dinozzo and McGee are watching both Kate and I. But I honestly don't give a damn because I'm not about to let Kate walk out of my life and NCIS without a fight.

When we get to the elevator and get inside, I hit the emergency stop button, and compose myself for what is going to be a very difficult talk and one I've never had before with anyone, let alone someone who I've fallen in love with. So with that being said I take a deep breath…. "Kate, why are you leaving NCIS? Is everything alright?" I ask, still not totally sure of myself and that's something that never happens. I see Kate pause and take a deep breath before she answers. "You want to know why I'm resigning from NCIS?...its pretty damn personal and you being a former marine I don't think that you will understand. But I'm going to tell you anyway. I'm depressed okay?"

"No, it's not okay, why didn't you tell me before? Do you think that you couldn't trust me? I say getting frustrated and annoyed, that I hadn't found out sooner. I need to know when one of my agents is having problems, even if they are dare I say it depressed.

"Well excuse me for it not being okay Special Agent Gibbs, but since I've decided to resign you have to be okay with it!" And with that she punched the emergency button and waited for the elevator to return us back to the office. By the way she punched the emergency stop button; I know I've screwed up big time. And this was the one time when I really didn't want to or needed to screw up and sadly that annoys me.

"I need coffee" I mumble as soon as we are back in the bullpen. But what I really need is a baseball bat taken to my head for being such a bastard towards Kate.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**TBC..**

**Please review and let me know what you think. Also any ideas for the next chapter will be greatfully accepted.**

**Thank you**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, extremely sorry for not posting this chapter sooner. Life does get in the way, especially when you are dealing with depression like I am and working and not to mention a horrible older brother who just gets up my skin all the time argh. Also thank you to my best bud Dedee**

**Anyway I am once again a little unsure of this chapter, no correction I'm unsure of writing stories period. So please read and review and all hints, opinions, ideas are as always accepted. So without anymore from me here is chapter four**

**Chapter Four**

**Gibbs POV**

When I return back from getting coffee I decide to go and see Abby and see if she has any ideas on what I can do to help Kate, since I completely pissed her off and she is more than likely going to be waiting to shoot me for that. I don't know this is something that I have never really dealt with and that is what makes it difficult. In the marines mental illnesses were always hush hush, never spoken about or anything. And being a former marine myself…..

As soon as I walk into Abby's lab, I hear what she call music honestly it's just something that gives me a head ach which is why I usually either turn it off or yell at Abby to turn it off. Because I wanted to have a proper serious conversation with her about Kate, I turned the music off. As soon as the music off, Abby turns around and gives me what one would call "why did you do that, I was listening to that" look. To which I just smirked at before taking a sip of my coffee.

"Abby, did you know about Kate being depressed? And do you know her reasons behind quitting NCIS?" I asked some what distraught.

"Gibbs of course I knew…her and I like tell each other everything, but and there is a pretty huge but. She promised me not to tell anyone especially you. Because you are the one she thinks would let down the most as she didn't live up to your expectations as an agent, that's what she kept on telling me. Like she was trying to convince herself and also doing the right thing because of rule 12. Now as for the depression, I don't really know much about that or what she is going through. Because she has closed herself off to me and everyone." said Abby while she was running some tests for other teams.

"Abbs when you said that she felt like she was living up to my expectations as an agent, what do you mean and where in the world did she get that idea?"

"I dunno Gibbs, but you are…well not the easiest of people to work for"

With that being said I stalked out of the lab and back to the bullpen.

As soon as I arrived at the bullpen I quickly scanned the area to see if Kate was there, much to my disappointment she wasn't there.

"DiNozzo, where the hell is Kate?" I barked.

"She gathered her stuff and left without a word. Ah what's going on boss?" asked a now concerned Tony.

Instead of answering I quickly left the bullpen and headed towards my car, hoping that if Kate is home that she will let me in.

Kate's apartment

(Still Gibbs's POV)

As soon as I arrived at Kate's apartment door, I knock on her door hoping that as soon as she realizes that it's me and she won't slam the door into my face, and yes I have had that happen to me before many of times. I quickly bring myself out of the hopes and thoughts as I hear someone walking towards the door.

"Gibbs, what are you doing here?" The surprise is evident in here voice.

"I've come to see if you okay…you kinda left the office pretty quickly and I just wanted to see if you wanted someone to talk to about what's going on" I stumbled.

"Gibbs, why would I want to talk to you about what's going on. I've resigning incase you have forgotten that small but important fact"

And with that being said Kate slammed the door in my face and here I stood looking shocked and unsure what to do next. But whatever it is, I'm going to have to do something before Kate's two weeks are up.

**TBC….**

**Don't forget to review pretty please, thank you**


End file.
